Monday, July 31, 2006

Shaq Releases Diss Track about Nash

The hot Phoenix sun isn’t the only thing to make Steve Nash’s ears burn. The newly-bald MVP has been in the mouth of more than one music artist

Well, first there was the whole Nelly Furtado debacle. But now SunsGossip is truly heated about the new Shaq track, “Can’t Stop the Reign” off of Papoose’s latest Kay Slay mixtape. Have you heard this garbage?

Now we’re not bugging about Papoose’s lyrics, he’s aight. But Shaq’s verse is attracting flies like Sugar Honey Iced Tea. If you know what we mean. Peep these lyrics:

How’d you get the MVP, Steve Nash?
Compared to my skills, yours is just trash.
Next to my salary yours is petty cash.
I got so much game I’ll give you a Heat flash!

I’ll choke your offense with a window sash,
Till your wounds be saltier than Mrs. Dash,
Then I’ll stomp in the paint like it’s the Monster Mash.
Damn, my shit is so ill I got diaper rash!

M...V...P... shoulda been ME.
M...V...P... shoulda been ME.

Shaq, we feel you on the hardwood. But please... stay off the wax, homie. Nashy we love you!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Sir Governor

This just in: it's better to be the head of a donkey than the tail of an elephant. Or something like that. In an announcement littered with classic Barkley-isms, former Suns star Sir Charles revealed that he may be running for Alabama governor in 2010 -- as a Democrat. When asked why he's abandoning the Republians, Barkley replied, "Those fools have lost their damn minds." He may be wrong, but we at SunsGossip doubt it.

Monday, July 24, 2006

The Quest for the Best of the Breast

At Saturday's auditions for the Suns dance team, over 200 hopefuls bared their souls to a panel of judges, vying for a spot on the celebrated dance squad. One dancer also bared something else. According to Dan Bickley, contestant #249 "pulled a Janet Jackson" during her audition. Well, apparently 249 didn't "stack" up against the competition because neither she nor her titties made the cut.

[Because of its graphic nature, the following picture has been pixilated.]

According to the judges, a WM (Wardrobe Malfunction) leads to an automatic DQ. But Miss 249 -- who spoke to SunsGossip on condition of anonymity -- is claiming boobotage. She told SunsGossip that someone untied her bikini string while she was dancing, causing her to be disqualified. Who would do such a thing?

SunsGossip talked to Phoenix Mercury mascot Scorch, who was all too eager to sit down for a little T& about Boobgate. Scorch was on the scene at the moment the tits hit the fan and claims to have seen veteran Suns dancer Gina pulling Miss 249's bikini string. But he also stated that he later saw Gina making out with Miss 249, and then quoted at length directly from the dialogue of "Showgirls."

Other dancers on the scene reported seeing 249 intentionally expose her bosoms. The Phoenix Suns Gorilla corroborated this story, claiming that Miss 249 was merely reacting to his primate mating call.

Miss 249 flatly denies accusations that her WM was intentional. "One of those dancers did this on purpose. She must have been salty because she wasn't as hot as me." Even if this was the work of a striptease saboteur, she wasn't the only one to end audition day a little salty. Saline teardrops indeed for Miss 249 and the end of her short but spectacular Flashdance career.

Thursday, July 20, 2006


This just in: MVP Steve Nash showed up at a charity basketball game in Vancouver without his trademark tresses. Although he told reporters that he just "felt like" cutting his hair, SunsGossip has confirmed that the magical locks were in fact stolen. Vancouver police are currently searching for Nash's former teammate Tim Thomas who was last seen headed towards L.A.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Up Close and Personal with Go, the Suns Mascot

[WARNING: the following interview contains some adult language. That Gorilla sure is a potty-mouth. KIDDING! This entire conversation took place only in SunsGossip's imagination.]

Suns fans know "Go" as the goofy gorilla that gets the home crowd going – or the lovable mascot who spreads cheer at local Phoenix events. But behind that plastic smile is a complex and sometimes troubled soul. SunsGossip sat down with the dark fellow for a look into the personal side of being the Phoenix Suns Gorilla.

SunsGossip: What’s your favorite part of the job?
Go: I love the kids – they’re the best fans in Phoenix. I’d like to have some mini-gorillas of my own some day, but I’m still looking for Mrs. Go.

SunsGossip: You were rumored to have been involved with resident hottie Gina (veteran Suns dancers and UPN spokesperson). Is she a possible Mrs. Go?
Go: No... sadly, she dumped me. Towards the end we were just fighting too much. She had a hard time handling my addiction.

SunsGossip: What was your problem? Alcohol? Drugs?
Go: No, I was a yellow mouth-candy fiend! Banana splits, banana yogurt, banana bread, you name it. I go "ape" for bananas!

SunsGossip: Go "ape"? Aren’t you a gorilla?
Go: Gorilla, ape... same difference. We’re all party primates.

SunsGossip: Moving on....What has been your most memorable moment as the Suns mascot?
Go: I would have to say it was a year ago when I met Magic Johnson. Not only is he a basketball legend, but he’s done so much in life, like single-handedly rejuvenating Harlem with his business enterprises and bringing energy to the NBA on TNT show...he’s such an incredible inspiration to all of us. I got my picture taken with him that night after the game. This picture is my most prized possession – I carry it everywhere.

SunsGossip: This is a picture of you and Charles Barkley.
Go: I love you, Magic!

SunsGossip: Right... um, so, what has been one of the low points of your mascot career?
Go: Having to ride onto the Suns court on a motorcycle with Tara Reid. What a hot mess that bitch was.

SunsGossip: That’s not very nice!
Go: But it’s true. Even Scorch wouldn’t hit that. And that fool is always "in heat."

SunsGossip: You’re killing me with these puns.
Go: What can I say, I’m one "punny" son of a bitch!

SunsGossip: Yes you are.
Go: Make sure you spell that S-U-N... “Sun of a bitch.”

[SunsGossip note: the Suns Dancers are holding auditions for the 2006-2007 season this coming Saturday. With a new crop of tail moving in, Go may procreate yet.]

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Mercury's Rising in Boris Diaw's Eyes

[en français]

It's old news that Boris Diaw took in several Phoenix Mercury games earlier in the season. At first blush this Suns-sighting doesn't seem gossipworthy...but when a basketball game makes a brotha blush, it makes SunsGossip take notice.

This picture from the June 7th Mercury game against the Monarchs captures the starry-eyed swingman staring at the object of his affection. Brother Martin Diaw seems to be watching the game-action on the court. But the Suns-hot burning question is, who or what is Boris looking at?

SunsGossip spent a month of Sundays researching this one and unfortunately was unable to come up with a conclusive answer.

Some speculate that he's gazing at Mercury hottie Ann Strother. Given their confirmed post-game rendez-vous at Majerle's, this is a plausible interpretation.

But SunsGossip also talked to several Mercury game-goers who all claimed to have seen Boris staring longingly at a spectator across the court who was eating a slice of pizza. Now, we all know how much Boris loves pizza! Could the amour in his eye be for a pizza pie?

Thanks to our friends at the US Airways Center, SunsGossip was able to obtain surveillance footage from the June 7th game. A close-up still picture of the spectators in Boris' direct line of vision reveals a Mercury fan who is indeed enjoying a slice of pizza. Case closed?

Not quite. SunsGossip also spent several long hours speaking with Scorch, the Mercury mascot. Amid Tourette's-like cheering outbursts and incessant heat-related double-entendres, Scorch slipped up and revealed a certain tidbit of information... SunsGossip is toiling away to corroborate this tidbit and will surely share it as soon as it is confirmed. This story is getting hotter than a tin roof in... uh... Phoenix.

Boris Diaw au Match du Mercury


On a déjà su que Boris Diaw était présent à quelques matchs du Phoenix Mercury. Cela n'est pas habituellement une nouvelle. Mais quand un match de basket fait rougir un homme noir... entre SunsGossip!

Cette image du match à 7 Juin contre les Monarchs laisse voir un Boris qui a beaucoup d'amour aux yeux. Le frère Martin Diaw semble regarder le match. Mais Boris regarde fixement d'autre chose . Qu'est-ce que c'est cette autre chose?

Pendant quelques semaines, SunsGossip a fait des recherches sur cette question. Malheureusement, nous n'avons pas pu arriver à une conclusion.

Il y a des gens qui croient qu'il regarde fixement la belle Ann Strother du Mercury. C'est une idée raisonnable, parce que nous avons corroboré le rumeur qu'ils étaient au restaurant Majerle's ensemble.

Mais SunsGossip a aussi parlé avec quelques spectateurs du match qui ont dit que Boris regardait fixement un autre spectateur qui était en train de manger du pizza. Nous savons que Boris aime beaucoup le pizza! L'amour à ses yeux, est-il à cause du pizza?

Grace à notre copains au US Airways Center, SunsGossip a obtenu une image de la surveillance de ce match à 7 Juin. On peut voir un spectateur qui est vraiment en train de manger du pizza. Fin?

Peut-être non. Pendant quelques heures longues SunsGossip a aussi parlé avec Scorch, la mascotte du Mercury. C'était une conversation difficile car Scorch parlait avec vigueur et il faisait toujours des jeux de mots (tout le monde est "hot"). Mais il a laissé échapper un petit morceau d'info qui peut être très intéressant. SunsGossip le publiera dès qu'on le confirmera...

[Je sais que mon français est terrible. N'hésitez pas à me corriger quand vous trouvez des erreurs graves.]

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Boris Diaw and Ann Strother?

[en francais]

Rumor has it that the much-loved Boris Diaw has about a quarter worth of dymes: a WNBA lady-friend, a long-time woman in France, and some kind of third half-girlfriend. SunsGossip hit the streets to uncover the truth about the most prominent of Boris’ alleged flames.

Ann Strother of the Phoenix Mercury was reportedly seen smooching with Boris at the sports bar Majerle's. Our friends at were unable to verify the truth of this rumor, but SunsGossip has obtained an exclusive picture from the night in question.

This picture is pretty dark and grainy because it is not a professional paparazzi shot -- rather, it was taken by a casual restaurant-goer, quite by accident. Look closely:

In the far left-hand-side of the background, two tall figures are discernable. They are standing quite close in what could indeed be the reported open-mouthed kissing embrace. The female appears to be wearing Mercury colors and the male is sporting Boris' characteristic adorable ears.

Using patented CSI technology, SunsGossip was able to enhance and enlarge this area of the picture. The results are clear. The two tall figures lurking in the dark are indeed Ann Strother and Boris Diaw. However, they are not engaged in any kind of kissing! Boris is plainly yawning, while Ann's mouth is wide open for a Snickers bar.

Case not quite closed on this one though. SunsGossip is currently analyzing pictures from several Mercury games at which Boris was in attendance. Stay tuned...

Boris Diaw et Ann Strother... relation amoureuse?

[click here for English]

Il y a une rumeur sur que le très beau Boris Diaw est amoureuse de la belle blonde Ann Strother de l’équipe du Mercury. Censément, quelqu’un a vu les deux en train d’embrasser (bouches ouvertes) dans le restaurant Majerle’s à Phoenix. On prie que ce n’est pas vrai! Mais personne n’a pas pu vérifier ou réfuter cette rumeur… Entre SunsGossip.

SunsGossip a obtenu une image exclusive de cette nuit à Majerle’s. Ce n’est pas la meilleure image, mais regardez-la bien:

On peut voir deux personnes grandes qui semblent être intimes -- peut-être en train de s’embrasser. La femme porte des vêtements des couleurs de l’équipe Mercury, et l’homme a des oreilles adorables comme Boris.

SunsGossip a utilisé de la technologie brevetée pour agrandir et clarifier cette partie de l’image. Regardez la resultat. Les deux personnes grandes sont Ann Strother et Boris Diaw, sans doute. Mais ils ne s’embrassent pas! Boris est certainement en train de baîller. Et la bouche d’Ann est ouverte seulement parce qu’elle mange du chocolat.

Mais on ne peut pas conclure que ce n’est pas une amitié romantique. SunsGossip est en train d’analyser des images des matchs du Mercury à lesquels Boris était présent…

[Je sais que mon français est terrible. N'hésitez pas à me corriger quand vous trouvez des erreurs graves.]

Saturday, July 01, 2006