Friday, September 29, 2006

Golden State of Mind... Exposed!

In every city there’s fools to pity...and in the Bay Area those fools are the Warriors. But we won’t hate on Golden State because this team gets more love than any other in the blogosphere. That’s right, it’s raining game in Northern California and in this second installment of NBA Bloggers Exposed!, SunsGossip gets hyphy with the folks at Golden State of Mind.

Our favorite boys from the Bay are pictured here outside the Oakland Arena in April (after the Warriors’ one win against the Suns last season). There’s so much going on in this picture that we can’t help but bite on The Cavalier’s numbering system to show what Hash, YaoButtaMing, Fantasy Junkie, DJ Fuzzy Logic, and Atma Brother ONE are really up to.

1. Hash has got his vans on but they look like sneakers.
2. A fan getting hyphy.
3. A fan going dumb.
4. A fan going 18 Dummy.
5. Fantasy Junkie sporting the stunna shades. It’s not clear what he’s doing, but we think he might be putting five on it.
6. YaoButtaMing riding the yellow bus.
7. A fan thizzing.
8. A fan blowing the whistle.
9. A fan shaking them dreads.
10. MC Hammer.
11. Danity Kane enthusiast DJ Fuzzy Logic Showstopping in his scraper.
12. In response to seeing DJ Fuzzy Logic rollin’ in his drop-top caddy, an onlooker throwing a peace sign and saying “hey pimp daddy!”
13. Self-proclaimed short, dark, and handsome blogger Atma Brother ONE demonstrating the sideshow favorite of driving one’s car while walking beside it. Ghost-ride the whip, our Indian brother from another mother!
14. Finally, look closely at the make of the car. That's right, this fool is ghost-riding a Honda. We're not mad at you, homie. South Asians can push the rice racers too. Yay Arrrrreeeaaaaa!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Leandro's Latest Sneaker Ad

We at SunsGossip just got the latest ad for the Starbosa sneaker and honey bunches of oats is it hot! While we’re not sure if anyone can top Gina’s performance in the first ad, Suns dance team member Uyen is holding it down in a pose that only Barbosa's mom could disapprove of. Rumor has it she’s holding it down for more than sneakers too. We already know Leandro has a thing for Suns dancers, and the Brazilian Blur may have his eye on the squad’s most petite member. No word yet if the feelings are mutual, but according to Uyen’s profile, she “sometimes craves chocolate.”

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

NBA Bloggers Exposed!... Lucas of "The Rising Suns"

In our first installment of NBA Bloggers Exposed!, SunsGossip blows up the spot on “Ra” aka “Lucas” aka the humble narrator of our favorite Phoenix blog, The Rising Suns.

Though claiming to be a professional graphic designer, Lucas is so prolific on his blog that we weren’t sure he even had a day job. But there is evidence that he’s tethered to the indoor cubicle: despite living in sunny Phoenix, this entertaining blogger is as white as the day is long.

Melanin-challenged Lucas was easy to spot when sifting through file pictures. In June he attended the Phoenix stop of the And-1 Mixtape Tour which brought out all 4% of Phoenix’s browner population. Ten points for the first reader who can spot our brother of the Caucasian persuasion in this picture.

Lucas did not immediately return phone calls, but in a prepared statement the self-proclaimed "sun god" did admit to being extra-pasty. “Seriously, I glow in the dark.”

Monday, September 18, 2006

Barkley bares it all

There's a thin line between politicking and prostituting, and it turns out that line is a string... a g-string. Although critics accuse governor-hopeful Charles Barkley of "whoring" himself out to special interest groups, Sir Charles maintains that his appearance at Babes Cabaret in Scottsdale Tuesday night was just for a good time.

You see, Scottsdale's Prop 401 has been a hot topic in the Phoenix area lately. The proposition could have banned lapdancing and put strip clubs out of business. But residents went to the polls Tuesday (no, not those poles, the voting polls) and the results were decisively pro-titty. The lapdance ban will not be imposed.

Not only was Barkley on hand for the victory celebrations at Babes, he also recently made comments about strip clubs during his Hall of Fame inductee speech. As a result, some speculate that Sir Charles is accepting campaign money from strip joints. Well, there's no doubt that the strip club industry is a powerful lobby, but judging from these surveillance pictures from Babes Tuesday night, we'd say Barkley is just having some good old-fashioned non-partisan fun.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

We're about to pee in our pants

It may finally be here: The site has been displaying a "Time Remaining to Launch" clock for several months now. Never mind that they've set the clock back a few times, we think this time it's for real. The clock currently displays zero days, zero hours, 26 minutes. We are beside ourself with anticipation. Time is moving slower than molasses uphill. Notwithstanding the spinning "milisecond" portion of the clock.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Pictures of Stoudemire dunking on fools

Pictures from yesterday's pick-up action at the US Airways Center. Looks like Amaré's knee is doing well. The SunsGossip paparazzi caught him catching air -- or catching "hair" as Boris Diaw likes to say.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Barkley thanks strip clubs in speech

Sir Charles spat a lot of thank-you's during Friday’s ceremony. As an inductee to the Basketball Hall of Fame, he expressed gratitude towards former teammates, coaches, family, and....strip clubs. That’s right, Scottsdale’s Babes Cabaret and Philadelphia’s Delilah’s Den were among the establishments given nods by the Round Mound of Rebound. Now, we all know Charles is “no role model for children,” but... thanking strip clubs?

Analysts were quick to cry “politics.” Turns out that Babe’s (owned by area resident Jenna Jameson) is currently embroiled in a hot legal battle. This coming Tuesday, Scottsdale residents will vote on Proposition 401 -- if passed, it will introduce heavy regulations to local nightclubs. With bans on activities such as lapdances, dancers wouldn’t be able to make enough money to buy the clothes on their backs -- so to speak -- and so Babes and other strip joints would effectively be put out of business.

We at SunsGossip know that future gubernatorial candidate Sir Charles isn’t shy about politicking, so it’s possible he was trying to hint at his opposition to Proposition 401. But we also wondered if there was a simpler explanation -- maybe he really does just enjoy a romp at the strip club.

Phonecalls to Babes were not immediately returned. However, SunsGossip did hear back from Delilah’s, and apparently Sir Charles was indeed a regular patron during his years in Philly. Further investigation turned up the following picture, from 1990.

While talking to the friendly folks at Delilah’s, SunsGossip also learned another interesting Apparently Mr. Barkley was a tad picky about his dollar bills. Typical patrons stop by the cashier upon entering and exchange their Jacksons and Benjamins for more tip-friendly single dollar bills. Not Sir Charles. According to the Delilah's staff, the Sixers star always arrived with his own fresh stack of singles from the bank.

SunsGossip's friend Scorch does the same thing, so we had to ask why. Well, we never thought about it this way, but at the end of the night, each dancer pulls a wad of sweaty singles from her g-string – and she probably wants to exchange those dollars for more usable twenties and hundreds. That’s right, the cruddy singles go back into the cashier, only to be recycled into the hands of patrons the next day, and the day after, and the day after. Scorch says he won't touch the bills at Babes. "But everyone has their own preference. The Phoenix Suns Gorilla loves the smelly house bills."

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

We are Raja Bell!

SunsGossip took the "Which NBA player are you" test and we were delighted with the result: the Suns' own Raja Bell! We've loved Raja ever since his days in Philly, back when the Sixers were hot (and we had girlish daydreams about an Eric Snow family-man with Bell’s good looks). We stuck with R when he moved to Dallas for a hot minute, and though we lost touch in Utah, we reunited last year in Phoenix. And we love Number 19 more than ever now that we know we are Raja Bell. It's not just because of the quiz – we’ve discovered we have a lot in common.

1. We both care about our hair. SunsGossip has always taken note of Raja's extra-clean line, but you might wonder how such a busy star could have time to visit the barbershop every other day. Well, he doesn't -- Bell actually has his own personal barber that he keeps on call, ready to buzz into action the moment he needs a shape-up. The barber splits his time between housecalls for Bell and office visits to P. Diddy (pictured here in September 2004). SunsGossip imagines a day when we too will add a hair person to our entourage.

2. We both have the same tattoo. No moth ball legs for Mr. Bell -- only elegant, barely-there tats up and down the arms. SunsGossip only has one tatoo, and it's across our bosoms, but it's the same design as the one on Raja's left shoulder.

3. We're both always on time. Colored People's Time, that is! We at SunsGossip will probably be late to our own funeral, and Bell similarly struggles with punctuality. The island boy’s chronic lateness is the real reason he didn't always start in Utah. (The Suns coaching staff regularly tells him game times that are an hour early, just to make sure he's in the building by tip-off.) Bell's much-anticipated website is also running on Minoritime -- the clock counting down to the launch date has already been pushed back a few times. But we're not tripping, Raja -- as we always say, don't hate when it's worth the wait. We'll check back around the All Star break.