Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Up Close and Personal with Go, the Suns Mascot

[WARNING: the following interview contains some adult language. That Gorilla sure is a potty-mouth. KIDDING! This entire conversation took place only in SunsGossip's imagination.]

Suns fans know "Go" as the goofy gorilla that gets the home crowd going – or the lovable mascot who spreads cheer at local Phoenix events. But behind that plastic smile is a complex and sometimes troubled soul. SunsGossip sat down with the dark fellow for a look into the personal side of being the Phoenix Suns Gorilla.

SunsGossip: What’s your favorite part of the job?
Go: I love the kids – they’re the best fans in Phoenix. I’d like to have some mini-gorillas of my own some day, but I’m still looking for Mrs. Go.

SunsGossip: You were rumored to have been involved with resident hottie Gina (veteran Suns dancers and UPN spokesperson). Is she a possible Mrs. Go?
Go: No... sadly, she dumped me. Towards the end we were just fighting too much. She had a hard time handling my addiction.

SunsGossip: What was your problem? Alcohol? Drugs?
Go: No, I was a yellow mouth-candy fiend! Banana splits, banana yogurt, banana bread, you name it. I go "ape" for bananas!

SunsGossip: Go "ape"? Aren’t you a gorilla?
Go: Gorilla, ape... same difference. We’re all party primates.

SunsGossip: Moving on....What has been your most memorable moment as the Suns mascot?
Go: I would have to say it was a year ago when I met Magic Johnson. Not only is he a basketball legend, but he’s done so much in life, like single-handedly rejuvenating Harlem with his business enterprises and bringing energy to the NBA on TNT show...he’s such an incredible inspiration to all of us. I got my picture taken with him that night after the game. This picture is my most prized possession – I carry it everywhere.

SunsGossip: This is a picture of you and Charles Barkley.
Go: I love you, Magic!

SunsGossip: Right... um, so, what has been one of the low points of your mascot career?
Go: Having to ride onto the Suns court on a motorcycle with Tara Reid. What a hot mess that bitch was.

SunsGossip: That’s not very nice!
Go: But it’s true. Even Scorch wouldn’t hit that. And that fool is always "in heat."

SunsGossip: You’re killing me with these puns.
Go: What can I say, I’m one "punny" son of a bitch!

SunsGossip: Yes you are.
Go: Make sure you spell that S-U-N... “Sun of a bitch.”

[SunsGossip note: the Suns Dancers are holding auditions for the 2006-2007 season this coming Saturday. With a new crop of tail moving in, Go may procreate yet.]


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