Thursday, December 21, 2006

Interview with the Suns Mascot

[WARNING: the following interview contains some adult language. That Gorilla sure is a potty-mouth. KIDDING! This entire conversation took place only in SunsGossip's imagination.]

Instead of working on number 16 of the winning streak tonight, the Suns were stuck in Denver making snow angels (the Nuggs game was postponed because of blizzard conditions). Well, this is just the kind of slow news day that begs for an interview with the affable Phoenix Suns mascot!

Suns fans know "Go" as the goofy gorilla that gets the home crowd going. But behind that plastic smile is a complex and sometimes troubled soul. SunsGossip sat down with the dark fellow a few months ago for a look into the personal side of being the Phoenix Suns Gorilla.

SunsGossip: You were rumored to have been involved with veteran Suns dancers and resident hottie Gina. Is she a possible Mrs. Go?

Go: No... sadly, she dumped me. Towards the end we were just fighting too much. She had a hard time handling my addiction.

SunsGossip: What was your problem? Alcohol? Drugs?

Go: No, I was a fiend for the yellow mouth-candy! Banana splits, banana yogurt, banana bread, you name it. I go "ape" for bananas!

SunsGossip: Go "ape"? Aren’t you a gorilla?

Go: Gorilla, ape... same difference. We’re all party primates.

SunsGossip: Moving on....What has been your most memorable moment as the Suns mascot?

Go: I would have to say it was a year ago when I met Magic Johnson. Not only is he a basketball legend, but he’s done so much in life. I got my picture taken with him that night after the game. This picture is my most prized possession – I carry it everywhere.

SunsGossip: This is a picture of you and Charles Barkley.

Go: I love you, Magic!

SunsGossip:, so, what has been one of the low points of your mascot career?

Go: Having to ride onto the Suns court on a motorcycle with Tara Reid. That bitch was a hot mess.

SunsGossip: That’s not very nice!

Go: But it’s true. Even Scorch the Phoenix Mercury mascot wouldn’t hit that. And that fool is always "in heat."

SunsGossip: You’re killing us with these puns.

Go: What can I say, I’m one "punny" son of a bitch!

SunsGossip: Yes you are.

Go: Make sure you spell that S-U-N... “Sun of a bitch.”


Blogger TheHype said...

Yes! Gina's free! (flips Arizona phone book)

12/21/2006 8:55 AM  
Blogger atma brother #1 said...

Daaamn, Miss SunsGossip! That exclusive was hotter than your one with Boris Diaw in Oakland.

I always liked that gorilla, but I never knew he had such a potty mouth. Still good folks though.

12/22/2006 12:21 PM  
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